Vavalangi is the Fijian word for "foreigner". These past two years I have desired nothing more than to blend into the village and to truly be accepted as a one of the Fijians. Since this summer was my second visit to Nasivikoso I hoped that my presence would finally be subtle when I entered a room full of massive Fijian men and their children. To my dismay, my presence did not go unnoticed. Whenever I attempted to join a group having a casual kava ceremony, all of the Fijians would look up and stare, sometimes smiling, at the white "vavalangi" girl standing in their doorway. Whispers of "vavalangi" coming from the children running towards me was of course adorable but I had left the excitement of being the center of attention behind last summer. This visit I did not want to be a foreigner to the native Fijians. I wanted to be Fijian. After the first couple days, I had finally accepted that i would never be able to fully blend in with the village and be one of the islanders. Vavalangi developed in my mind as a negative word- meaning outsider, as if I was being mocked about my attempt to fit in every time I heard it. It wasn't until I had a conversation with my nene Laite (Fijian mother) that I was exposed to another perspective of the word "vavalangi". I had asked if my nene had traveled to New Zealand (because of its close proximity to Fiji) and she said she had never left Fiji but "in her dreams she travels to far places". It was then that I realized that my nene could only dream of being called a vavalangi. She would love to be consider a foreigner in a place she had never been. I had been so occupied in trying to just fit in that I had forgotten the beauty of being in a new place across the world from where I lived. I had taken advantage of something that my nene could only dream of experiencing. From the day on I was proud to be called a vavalangi because it reminded me how far I had traveled from my home to be back in Nasiviksoso with the people I love.